Iam a bit younger and I was in my 20 when she betrayed me and left me for the AP for few months.
No matter what is your age, the feeling of hopelessness is the same, intense, painful, cruel, crushing and scary for the future, because of the attachment wound.
What happened then it was overcompensating, I challenged myself to compete and win in education, work, seduction. I was having fun in running job interviews for positions I was not interested to entertain with the goal to see if I was capable of impressing so much to be offered leadership positions that were not on the table to begin with. Turns out I could.
I reordered my student life to make up for the time "sacrificed " for the relationship between me and my cheater. I reclaimed a lot of my pride in that short time and proved myself that I can not only survive this, but thrive beyond what a life with her would have offered.
This is likely the energy and excitement that you do feel now, and it is positive.
But careful with the energy, must be channeled into healing your body,life and soul.
There is a risk of pitfalls like dopamine rush, and I walked right into it the moment my body started to resensitize toward the other sex and the need of a relationship.
Which will come in a healthy way, but for me I didn’t heal the trauma wound enough yet (was a matter of weeks) and so I unconsciously moved from the path of self centered healing to the path of external validation from women.
So i basically gathered a harem of girls with who my wounded self didn’t wanted more than superficial, sexual connection because it was still bleeding, and as a result right after the short lived dopamine rush of the conquest I was thrown back into the abyssal void of the pain and loss, because it was nothing like what I had lost, just sex and refrain from connection, and all the misery came back full force.
Then to counter that I dropped them all and choose one girl with who I trauma bonded, it wasn’t love it was desperation and a parody of what I felt I’ve lost.
Haven’t I done that, when my wayward came back shortly after I initiated this relationship, I likely wouldn’t have taken her back, let her influence and lead me to radical changes to my life, career and future, and would have saved me from her further betrayals.
And I wouldn’t have break the heart of this other girl who suffered my hurt projections and really fell for me.
So about your worries, how are you going to do that?
Well you already are. The energy surge you feel is telling. You got rid of your abuser from your life, now it’s a problem between two unworthy pigs rolling in the mud, nothing worthy of your consideration, because they chose that.
Your mind is playing the usual game "at my age…" and I tell you: at your age you live like at your any past age you lived.
Since we are conceived we start to die with every next heartbeat. How many left is not our concern.
What it matters is you, here, now. You live, you feel, you desire.
Focus on it, on your healing and your future journey will take naturally shape. Work, growth and love will follow naturally with your fulfilling feminine energy. And for how painful your betrayal was, the healing process will make you stronger and you’ll be respecting your self so much, you will never settle for such a low quality man once again. You will not even attract them, you attract people who reflect your own self worth.
Higher value healed you, higher value men in your future romantic life if you chose so.
Good luck sister.
